A few weeks ago, Zoe Margolis – also known as the Girl with a One Track Mind – was incorrectly labelled a ‘hooker’ by a sub-editor in The Independent. In the headline of a piece she’d written herself no less.

We wrote about it on Reputation Online, and much of the subsequent discussion across the blogosphere and on Twitter veered towards sexism, as ironically Margolis had been tarred with the very same type of stereotyping she’s attempting to stamp out.

Her experiences in the film industry formed part of the debate, and this – along with the outcome of a post by Camilla Blackett (that I can’t find the original link for), in which she turns the tables on women in the same field, saying that the topics covered by female film makers only contribute to the way they are perceived – got me thinking.

The notion of chauvinism in the workplace is not new to me. My first few years after university were spent working in the male-dominated world of technology, and yes there are fantastic women doing great work here too, but they are hugely outnumbered. To not acknowledge that is just naive. I worked in PR, so was perhaps once removed from the nitty-gritty of it all, but didn’t find it too much of an issue. When comparing notes with friends, it certainly didn’t seem to be more prominent than what they were also experiencing. The notion that it might be however was thrust in my face on a weekly basis – but I never got involved in the debate.

Why? Well, it’s taken me a long time to work that out (for most of which I felt guilty for not being more supportive). First and foremost, I never liked the idea of separating the sexes – one rule for one, another for the other. When you’re trying to promote the notion of equality, dividing people into two groups only enhances the notion that they should be treated differently. If you take men out of the picture, you could be taking the best talent out of the equation. You might be at the top of your game, but only in part.

Second, I was afraid of putting myself up there on a pedestal, getting involved in the gender debate and being berated by the fierce feminist community that resides in London. It doesn’t matter how confident you are, they’re a scary bunch of people to piss off.

Looking at women in tech here, there’s a distinct split. There are those who play on what’s perceived to be typically female traits – giggly, happy-go-lucky excitement – and those who strive to rebel against this, sometimes to the point of being sensationalist. I don’t disagree with either approach; I just don’t fit into either group.

I won’t lie, it’s taken me a long time to navigate the boundaries of my work and private life, as well as understand who means well and who really doesn’t. I’ve made stupid mistakes, and others probably still think they know the type of person I am because of them. Funnily enough, that isn’t the case. Maybe those natural ebbs and flows are the reason it’s taken so long for me to get my head around this issue. Regardless, I know that I’m part of a generation of women that are lucky enough to have a choice in terms of career, life and behaviour. What’s more, we’re aware that the choices exist.

I’ve decided to sit somewhere in-between rebellious feminist and doting housewife. I’m not afraid of my desire for traditional things like marriage and children, but roll my eyes when faced with a laptop cover that’s hot pink and marketed to girls. However, I don’t feel the need to shout about it – I’d rather get on with it. I’d prefer to do a good job and let that speak for itself, while helping girls in a practical sense by opening my contact book to them.

And you know what, I’m fine with that. It doesn’t make me any less independent or strong-willed – and I’ve finally got the balls to say it.

Instead of blogging about an inspirational woman today, I’ve decided to take some her spirit on board myself. Thanks Ada.

Image via jasonEscapist.